Evenings with Snakes
by Giminia Wow
Summary: 7 years has past since the final battle and life goes on. Draco is celebrating his freedom from an arranged marriage. Theo brings along a lioness and a raven and the night gets a whole lot more interesting. Where will they end up? Who would have thought the Gryffindor Princess would be so much fun? Series of nights with the Snakes when they come. AU/ OOC/ noncanon
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: I own none of the characters. They are all property of JK Rowling.**

 **AN: Hello again everyone, this was suppose to be a OS that might take on more chapters. I hope you all enjoy this first chapter. This has been beta'd by RooOJoy and may be beta'd again (I couldn't wait to post, I really enjoy this story)**

June 5, 2005

The crowd around the blonde began to thin, people milling about after the service, watching as the man sat staring off, staring at the words but not truly seeing them. Today was Draco's twenty-fifth birthday, the sun was shining on this warm day, a perfect day to bury his mother, happy fucking birthday to him.

He sat there, staring at his mother's final resting place, feeling she would be pleased by the monument he picked out for her, much bigger than his father's. It was a two foot slab of white marble with her namesake flowers blooming, purple narcissus, surrounding the Black and Malfoy family crests.

 **MALFOY**

 **Narcissa Black Malfoy**

 **D.O.B. March 9, 1955**

 **D.O.D. June 3, 2005**

 _ **Devoted wife and mother.**_

His father's marker was simple, just the Malfoy crest. It's not like he would have cared, he wasn't even in the grave, it was just the marker. Lucius Malfoy died in Azkaban, his body was buried next to the prison just like all the other prisoners who have died there. Money means nothing in prison, but Narcissa wanted a place to visit when he died five years prior. Draco, who did not forgive his father for putting the family in harm's way during the war, would have rather forget he had a father, but his mother always got her way.

OoOoOoO

Draco continued to sit there, not caring he was supposed to be at the Manor, leaving that to his Aunt Andromeda. Andromeda and Narcissa had made up after Lucius died, finding comfort in mourning their loved ones together as the last of the Black women. Andromeda and her grandson Teddy both moved into a little cottage at the end of the property. She could entertain the vultures; Draco was content just sitting at the gravesite, staring off into space. He had been very close with his mother, especially during the last few years of the second war. Having a crazed maniac residing in your home tended to make you stick together even more. After the war and his father's incarceration they were even closer as they only had each other. The Malfoy name did not carry the same weight as it once did and now was tainted because of his father's ill decisions. Draco was still working hard to restore the name Malfoy to it's former glory, _thanks dad for the good times_.

OoOoOoO

"Draco darling, we're suppose to be married in a month." Draco cringed, Astoria's high pitch voice was enough to shatter glass. "We need to finalize these details." Her stiletto heels echoed throughout the manor, making even the elves run in horror at the sound of them.

"No." Draco poured himself another tumbler of firewhiskey trying to numb himself from Astoria's barrage of wedding garbage, and sat in the high backed chair staring once again into the fire.

It had been two weeks since the funeral, he hadn't left the house since, much to Astoria's dismay. Astoria Greengrass was not familiar with the homebody life, she mourned for her fiance's mother, but now it was time to get back to living. This included leaving the manor, going to social engagements, dinners out, and she needed her fiance for that. An engaged woman did not go out in the evenings without her intended unless with her parents, these things were not done.

"But darling, we need to do this, the wedding won't plan itself you know," Astoria chided him. She sat in his lap and smoothed the wrinkle on his collar.

Draco grimaced and pushed her off of him, she landed on the stone floor with a thud, not at all sorry for her ill landing, "Astoria, I said no. Merlin, do you have to be here right now? My mother just died, I'm sorry if this farce isn't on my to do list right now."

Astoria looked offended. "Of course I do. Just because she died doesn't mean we did. We are to be married, and I am to be Lady Malfoy. The wedding has to be the best."

Draco shot up, spilling his whiskey as he did, anger coursing through his veins. Malfoy's were rarely emotional, but when they were it was like a viper ready to strike. "Shut up, you stupid bint! My mother just died. I didn't lose a bet, I lost a parent! Spare me if I don't give two shits about a wedding I didn't even want! In fact, forget about the wedding! Both my parents are dead and I could give two fucks about some marriage contract. It's off Astoria. Go home, and I will let my solicitor, Travis, know to contact your father about it being cancelled."

"But… but," Astoria stuttered going pale, "You can't do that! Your parents wanted us to be married, they wanted you to marry me! This contract has been sealed since we were toddlers!"

"I _can_ do it," Draco insisted with an arrogant smirk. "I can do whatever the fuck I want. I'll pay the penalty, if there is one. I'm Lord Malfoy, the last living Malfoy and I really don't want to marry you, so I won't. This was Lucius' idea. I only went along with it because my mother wanted it, but she is dead, as you so plainly put it. We were to marry by my 25th birthday. Well, that couldn't happen because of her passing and since it didn't happen, I'm pretty sure the contract is void. Go home Astoria. Tell your father how you wouldn't stop harping on me as I am mourning my mother's death and you cost him millions of galleons. Travis will be in contact with him tomorrow."

"Draco," Astoria whispered seductively, trying to salvage her betrothal before her father found out. "Sweetheart, I can finish these details for the wedd-"

Draco grabbed her arm and began yanking her towards the floo in the front hall. Astoria began to shriek in fear. "Go HOME Astoria! The wedding is off, you stupid slag! If postponing it didn't void the contract, then the fact that I have photographic evidence of you leaving Adrian Pucey's home at six in the morning last week, well that just voids it right there. The engagement was finalized last year, which means the fidelity clause was in effect. I'm pretty sure slagging around with Pucey at six am wearing his shirt as you left..." Draco sneered at her as he grabbed a handful of floo powder. "I'm sure that counts as infidelity. I will have Travis send your father the pictures; he has a few months' worth of them. You are a little slag aren't you? Good bye Astoria." He shouted into the fireplace and watched as a pale Astoria stepped into it, seeing the tear tracks on her face as she disappeared.

OoOoOoO

"Theo, why do I have to go?" Hermione groaned as she pulled on her silver slip dress over her naked body, preferring the look of no visible lines.

"Come on, Love, you know why." Theo Nott walked into the room seeing Hermione in the silky silver dress as an appreciative grin spread across his face. The Gryffindor Princess had really filled out over the years. Seeing her struggling with the clasp of her necklace, the brown haired Slytherin walked over and helped her with it. "It's Draco's freedom party. It's been six months and he's finally free of Astoria after thay fight with her family over the betrothal. I can't believe they tried to pass off Daphne as the Greengrass in the photos. He wants to go out and celebrate."

"Exactly. I hardly think he's going to want me there. Malfoy and I weren't friendly in school. I don't exactly fit into your pureblood world," Hermione pointed out.

Theo laughed. If she only knew. "We don't have a pureblood world anymore 'Mina; that is long gone. Come on, what else are you going to do, you promised to go with me, you even stayed an extra day for it. You go back to Italy tomorrow. It's just one night of fun with me! You've been in England for three days, and you haven't even seen anything or anyone but myself. You refuse to go out into the wizarding world, but you shouldn't hide. You have nothing to be ashamed about." Theo had been giving her the same lecture every time he had seen her for the past two years since they reconnected.

"Not true. I saw Luna just the other night."

Theo laughed even harder. "Almost getting arrested for indecent exposure and public drunkenness in muggle London with Luna is not exactly what I call visiting with friends. I know these aren't your friends, but I invited her this evening as well, so you can have a friend with you. Just don't drink too much. I don't think I can get you out of trouble as easy as I did in muggle London."

"We weren't indecent," Hermione argued cheekily as she had her wand in her hand to charm her normally curly hair straight and shiny. Her makeup was minimal, except for her bright red lips and a hint of a smoky eye that brought out the green in her hazel eyes. She was never one for beauty charms in school, but in the eight years since she left Hogwarts, her appearance had become more important to her. Especially as a top solicitor in Italy, she always had to look her best. "We had on all our clothes."

"Yes, but pouring water all over yourselves at a club when you aren't wearing any undergarments, and almost starting a riot is indecent. Do you ever wear a bra, Love?"

Hermione laughed. "Yes, for work, but I hate them normally so I never bother otherwise. Anyways, it was hot in the club Theo and we were in _muggle_ London, what were we to do? We couldn't exactly cast a cooling charm."

"What happened to that bushy haired bookworm we all knew at Hogwarts?" Theo teased.

"She died the moment her so called family disowned her for not caving and marrying the red haired git," Hermione said, her face slightly darkened. "All that is left is me. I hope you approve."

Theo swallowed hard and hugged her from behind, they had become truly family. "Of course I do, Love. You didn't love the red headed git, but you didn't deserve to be cast aside because of it. It is their fault they aren't in your lives. You are a war heroine, so walk tall with pride. Luna will be there, and none of the Slytherins will say anything. As far as I know, none of your former friends will be at the restaurant."

Hermione looked up at him in the mirror and smiled brightly. He saw that the smile almost reached her eyes, but not quite. Shaking her head and chuckling she agreed, "Okay, let's go. Let me grab my bag and my shoes." She slipped her feet into a pair of the highest emerald green peep toe heels Theo had ever seen.

"Channeling your inner Slytherin tonight, Love?" Theo wagged an eyebrow at his friend.

Hermione laughed, "Well, I'm going out with the snakes, might as well blend in."

"Ah, but we all know you are a lioness at heart, 'Mina," Theo chortled as he took her hand and tucked his into her elbow. "No amount of green and silver will take the lioness out of you." With that, Theo disapperated them to the restaurant.

Luna met them outside, dressed in a light turquoise blue mini dress and silver stilettos, her long blond hair curly and wild. Theo smiled broadly and grabbed Luna's hand as she walked up to them with her own smile. Hermione leaned over and gave her friend a quick squeeze, and a kiss on the cheek feeling much better now that she was with her friends. Walking into the snake pit was a bit unnerving. Holding her head up high, she smiled at Theo and Luna, and they walked to join the party.

OoOoOoO

Draco was sitting at the head of the table, already knee deep into his third or fourth drink when Theo walked up with two women. They looked fairly familiar but not quite. Draco knew he knew them, but where from? Pansy, who had been sitting between Draco and Blaise Zabini looked up and began to giggle.

"Theo darling, are we slumming?" Pansy's voice rang out loud. Blaise looked up and Draco got a proper look at Theo's dates. Blaise was truly surprised, not knowing his friend to have such interesting taste in women. A former raven and lion, interesting indeed.

Theo rolled his eyes and opened his mouth, but Hermione beat him to it. "Obviously, considering he did come out to have dinner with you, Parkinson." Luna laughed and Theo barely suppressed a snicker. The fun was already starting, Theo was not disappointed in his lioness.

"How dare you, you filthy-" Pansy began but was cut off.

"Yes, yes, filthy little mudblood. Merlin it's been seven years, don't you have an original thought in the puny little head on those pointy shoulders?" Hermione interrupted rolling her eyes. "I mean, please, mudblood?"

"Mud is good for your skin," Luna chimed in. "You can rub all over me if you would like 'Mina."

Blaise spit out the wine he was drinking and Theo just laughed and shook his head. "Luna dear, don't do that to Blaise, he may choke."

Blaise was indeed finding it hard to breathe, Pansy thumped him on the back and his normal coloring came back to him. Luna sniggered and grinned over at Hermione.

"Besides Luna," Hermione smiled at her friend, "We haven't had enough to drink just yet."

Luna nodded serenely in agreement. "We should fix that post haste."

Draco sat there, eyes wide with a brilliant grin on his face. Was this really happening? "Granger? Is that really you?"

Theo pulled out a chair across from Pansy and then one next to his own. Luna and Hermione both sat down with himself between the two. Hermione, crossed her long, slightly tanned legs, her short dress creeping up slightly, showing even more thigh. Draco noticed her emerald heels and her blood red toenails peeking through the tips. He loved that about women, how they looked with heels on, their legs just went on for miles, at least Granger's did and then the short dress and the heels? She looked like sex in heels. He let his eyes graze over her completely, taking in the slinky silver dress that he was sure she wasn't wearing a bra underneath; he could see a touch of nip through the fabric, and that alone made his trousers tighten. Her dark tresses were straight, but he could see it was a charm. There was no way her bushy curls weren't there somewhere, it once had it's own chair in classes.

Hermione rolled her eyes once more, took his drink and took a gulp of the amber liquid. She did need a little liquid courage. "Of course it is. Who else would Parkinson be so uptight over? Tell me Malfoy, did you ever get that wand out of her ass or is she always this tightly wound?" Pansy began to turn pink as Blaise and Theo chuckled.

"Oh, Pansy, you shouldn't leave your wand there," Luna informed her, "At least not for long periods of time. They have other items for sale that you can use for those purposes. Oh, that reminds me, Hermione did you ever use…"

"No, never got a chance," Hermione interrupted with a chuckle, leaving everyone a bit curious as to what they were talking about. "Maybe one day I will."

"You should," Luna agreed, "I find it very erotic, especially when you hit the button…" she trailed off with a far off look of pleasure.

Theo always enjoyed spending time with Luna and Hermione as they were fairly entertaining. They always did this, at first it seemed a bit off putting how freely they talked about sex and orgasms, toys or sexual partners. He had never heard women talk about it so freely. Pureblood women were never that open about their sexuality, men always stuck with the bravado of being men, but the women were supposed to be demure in public. But these two, they just said whatever came into their minds. At least Luna did, it's kind of why he invited her, she was refreshing and Hermione - that was just pure fun.

"Where do you put it in you?" Blaise asked, trying to figure out what the new arrivals were talking about.

Hermione looked a bit confused. "It isn't for me, it's for him. If it were for me, I would have used it already. Merlin knows I could do with a nice long…"

"You should have went home with the guy the other night," Luna chastised. "He was very nice to look at, the uniform was very fetching."

Theo chuckled putting his head on his arms on the table, shoulders bouncing with laughter. "Luna, Love, he was going to arrest you two." Blaise exchanged grins with Draco, as Theo continued, "I don't think he would have been allowed to take her home."

"All the better," Luna countered with a giggle. "He already has the cuffs. He looked like he knew what to do with his baton." With that comment Theo was almost in tears with laughter, Luna was amazing.

"Besides," Hermione grinned. "You know I can't," she gesticulates in the air, "With a muggle anymore, not enough chemistry."

"You certainly didn't have issues with those two in Barcelona," Luna challenged her, and Hermione laughed.

"Well that was a one off," she waved that away.

"Actually, that was two…" Luna corrected her serenely.

Theo laughed, "Do you two even realize what you say out loud in public anymore?"

Luna and Hermione both shrugged as if to say, 'eh, not really'.

"So Granger," Blaise began, staring at her breasts. Theo snapped his fingers, and Luna began to laugh. Blaise pulled himself out of his reverie and looked up at an amused Hermione. "I uh, heard you moved out of London. Where have you been for the past five years?"

"I live in Italy, as a solicitor," Hermione answered, taking another swig of Draco's drink she had stolen he noticed with a smirk. He waved down a server and motioned for more alcohol, the Slytherins frequented the restaurant enough that she had an idea of what to bring everyone.

"Is that where you latched onto our Theo?" Hermione could hear the possessiveness in Pansy's shrill voice.

Looking over at the pug faced brunette, she smiled brightly, not the least bit intimidated. She was a top solicitor, and Pansy Parkinson was nothing. "No, actually, Theo and I reconnected in Paris. Luna and I were there on vacation, and he was there for a quidditch game. I was dating the seeker for the Italian National team, you know, Luciano Volpi? Yes. So we were at the game and ran into Theo."

"I miss Luciano," Luna interrupted with a sigh. "He had fabulous hands," she said with a shudder while Hermione laughed and nodded, smirking at the looks on the three Slytherin's faces. "What?" Luna asked looking around with her sweet smile.

"What about his hands-" Blaise began, but Theo shook his head and sniggered. "You probably don't need to know. You want to know, but you don't need to know."

"You two share men?" Pansy asked with distaste.

"You've never shared with your friends?" Hermione asked with a mocking tone. "I find that hard to believe, especially being from your house. We heard about what went on in those dungeons."

"Plus, Theo talks when he's drunk," Luna giggled as she stole Blaise's wine as she had already drank her own the server placed in front of her and took a sip. "We have never shared at the same time, Hermione and I aren't into that, but we've slept with the same men a few times."

"Theo are you…?" Blaise insinuated waving a hand between the two women, and all three of them laughed.

"No, 'Mina and I are just friends, and I'm almost afraid of Luna."

"The highest of compliments, Mr. Nott," Luna said raising Blaise's glass to her lips. Hermione laughed again. Luna looked at her glass. "Empty… sad… 'Mina! Ten galleons, guy at the bar."

Hermione looked over at the bartender and shook her head. "No, I can't. I'm known here. It's not fair, but I say go for it. Fifteen if you get wine and whiskey."

Luna grinned, gave Theo a kiss on the cheek, and walked away. Theo laughed, "'Mina, why do you guys play this game? There really is no need."

Hermione smirked in response. "It's fun." She watched her friend lean over the bar while the bartender stared down Luna's sizable cleavage. "It keeps a girl sharp. Besides, he's cute. Luna could have a good time tonight."

"What is she doing?" Blaise whispered to Pansy.

Theo answered, "She's using her natural talents to get what she wants, same as Hermione does." The bartender gave Luna a bottle of firewhiskey and a bottle of elven wine. She gave him a kiss and a slip of paper.

"Damn she is good," Hermione mused with a giggle. "That is probably the quickest I've seen in awhile."

"So you whore yourselves out for drinks?" Pansy sneered at Hermione. Hermione turned back to Pansy as Luna was walking back.

"Parkinson, do you ever feel obligated to have sex? Ever been on a date where you knew the man expected you to be accommodating because it's the third date? What would you call that? Don't purebloods have betrothal contracts, just like the one that Malfoy is celebrating being rid of? Wouldn't you call THAT whoring yourself for money?"

"Besides," Luna called out as she sat and handed the bottle to Hermione. "I paid for them. I'm just horny, and he's rather good looking. Has a good aura too. He should be fantastic in bed... As if Hermione and I would whore ourselves out for alcohol! We were betting how long before one of you would think that's what we were doing. Slytherins are so easy, pun intended. Who won Theo?"

Theo chuckled. "Neither. Pansy didn't last five minutes."

"Oh well… I say I won," Luna grinned broadly. "I'm the one having sex tonight."

Hermione scoffed, "It's not like I have anywhere to bring them. I'm sleeping at Theo's while I'm in town, and I don't think he wants another scene like last month."

Theo poured himself a glass of whiskey and shook his head adamantly. "No thank you. The elves are still trying to get the rug clean." Blaise and Draco shared a confused smirk, what happened to Theo's rug?

"Aw, Theo, I told you Luna and I would pay for it. Those poor elves." Hermione shook her head with a sly grin. "'Sides, it won't come out. I had to rip out my carpet back at home."

"'Mina, that rug is an antique from the Nott vaults," Theo said, and Hermione grinned even broader.

"Can we do it again then?" Luna asked with a small bounce in her seat, a grin to match Hermione's.

"No!" Theo groaned and chuckled deeply, clearly entertained no matter what he said. "I may not care for it, but it's been in the family for centuries."

"No fun!" Hermione laughed. "I'm only kidding. It will come out. I think I have some of the stain remover left over that I made for my house . I just wanted to scare you. I'll send it to you when I get home."

"You are not what I expected, Granger," Draco laughed as he had been watching the exchange the whole time quietly.

Hermione looked over at Draco, almost surprised to see him there as she was focused on everyone else at the table. "Let me guess, you were expecting the know it all Gryffindor Princess, obsessed with rules and trying to prove to everyone that she belonged, and she was better than everyone else? I haven't been that girl in a long time, Malfoy. I'm pretty sure I haven't been that girl since I left England."

"What kind of girl are you then?" Draco questioned, realising he was shamelessly flirting.

"Well for one, I am not a girl, I'm a woman," she answered, leaning forward. His eyes went automatically down her dress where he could see the tops of her breasts and she grinned again. "I also know you are looking down my dress, because my eyes are up here and yet, I can't see yours."

Draco grinned as he looked up into her hazel eyes, noticing the green flecks in them. He felt no shame for looking down her dress, he was a Malfoy, they didn't know what shame was when it came to women.

"Luna is that you?" a familiar voice rang out behind the group. Hermione's own grin faded from her face recognizing that voice. "What are you doing here with these snakes?"

"Oh, hello Ronald," Luna said serenely, glancing over at Hermione and then back up to Ron Weasley who was walking up to the table.

"Do you need some help? Why are you over here?" Ron inquired.

"She's about to have dinner of course," Theo said standing up to face the redhead and surreptitiously standing in front of Hermione's chair, shielding her from view. "If you don't mind, we'd like to continue with our night, so why don't you go back to your Potty and leave us be?"

"Luna, come have dinner with us," Ron's voice strained to keep back the anger. Hermione could almost hear his face turning red. She caught Draco's eyes and rolled hers in response. Draco looked confused for a second and then smirked at her.

"Oh, I'm quite alright where I am Ron," Luna smiled brightly.

"Ron, come on, what's going on?" Ginny Potter, nee Weasley, asked her brother as she approached the table. "Oh, hi Luna. How are you?" After glancing around the table and noticing Luna's company, she added, "And why are you with these Slytherins?"

"Theo is a friend. We're having dinner to celebrate… Theo why are we here again?" Luna asked.

"My recent break of my betrothal from a money grubbing whore," Draco said with a smirk towards Hermione. She rolled her eyes again and grinned back. Her former friends still had not noticed it was Hermione sitting right there with her back to them.

"Ah yes. Then why are we having dinner with Pansy?" Luna inquired. "I was under the impression that Pansy was a bigger whore than Astoria was. Though, I dare say she must have some skills in the bedroom. At least that was the rumor in the Ravenclaw common room and from what Theo says, she does this thing with her tongue..."

Hermione couldn't hold it anymore, she burst out laughing and dropped her head to the table. She could hear Pansy shriek in indignation and storm away from the table. She could feel Draco laughing right next to her.

"Luna, you really shouldn't have done that," Hermione mumbled from the tablecloth between bouts of laughter. "Poor pug face- er- I mean... Pansy."

"Was it a secret? I was sure everyone knew already," Luna grabbed her glass, pouring a generous amount of wine in it, and drank it down not at all embarrassed as she made the Slytherin leave the dinner in a huff.

"Hermione?" Ginny's voice was low with surprise.

Hermione took a deep breath in, brought her head up, drank the last gulp of her drink, and turned to look at her former friends looking around Theo's lanky frame. "Hello Ginevra, Ronald."

"Hermione," Ron's voice was full of incredulity, "What are you doing here? What are you doing with them? Where have you been?"

"Why do you care?" Hermione asked. "None of you cared for five years. Why do you give a fuck now?"

"You're having dinner with Malfoy, Zabini, and Nott," Ron pointed out. "We're just asking if you're ok."

"Yes, I'm fine. I know who I'm having dinner with. I have dinner with Theo about once a week, have been for years now. Luna and I have been friends for ages, since school if you remember, but better since I left England. Zabini and Malfoy are new additions to my list of dinner companions, but they seem to find Luna and I funny so I don't mind so much." Both men just grinned as they have been thoroughly entertained since the two women sat down at the table.

"But it's Malfoy," Ron practically yelled. Hermione could see Harry walking towards the group and surprisingly, George Weasley was following.

When George saw Hermione his face lit up. "'Mina! What are you doing here? I thought you were going home yesterday?"

"Georgy!" Hermione stood up, ran over and hugged her friend. Her short silver dress slipped up slightly as she brought her arms up. "I was going to, but Theo convinced me to go out with him and his friends tonight." With a glance in Theo's direction she added, "He promised me I wouldn't run into anyone I knew."

Theo brought up his hands. "How was I to know they would be here?"

"Wait," Ginny interrupted, "Since when do you talk to George?"

"He's a snake 'Mina," George pointed out, ignoring his sister. "He lies, you know? Speaking of," he twirled her around and whistled, "Bringing out your inner Slytherin Mi? I knew you couldn't be all lion. You look mighty good in that dress. No lines huh? I know what that means."

"Means 'Mina and I are going out tonight after… oh wait, I have a date. Sorry Mi, you will have to find your own shag tonight." Luna spoke up.

"That's not what that means," Hermione argued with her friends, shooting George a glare, but didn't hold his eyes. "It means I don't like lines. They ruin an outfit."

"They also ruin a quick shag," George whispered in her ear, and she elbowed him in the ribs. He laughed, "You didn't say I was wrong."

"Hermione?" Harry finally found his voice after several seconds of confusion, seeing his former friend after five years. "What are you doing here?"

"Good Godric, why the fuck do you all care?" Hermione was finally losing her temper. "I am having dinner with my good friends Theo and Luna. It's been five years. I don't owe you any explanations Potter, Potter and Weasel."

"It's like that muggle children's game, 'Duck, Duck, Goose', but it's 'Potter, Potter, Weasel'- short end of the stick there Ronald," Luna chimed in with a clap from her seat. Draco and Blaise began to snigger.

"Excuse us for being worried for you," Ron bit back, pink in the face with blooming anger. "Hanging out with snakes, Hermione? How low can you get? Being a Slytherin whore."

"Hey!" George yelled, stepping toward his brother, but Hermione held him back.

"I would rather be a Slytherin Whore, than Harry's bitch, Ronald," she spat back at him with a look of loathing she used to reserve for Draco. "I'm a whore? Which one of us is in the paper every other week for something ridiculous? Which one of us soaked up being friends with the 'Famous Harry Potter' for all it's worth? Which one of us took an opportunity of a lifetime to become an auror and squandered it because he couldn't cope with actually having to do his own fucking work for once in his life? Which one of us has been riding Harry's coat tails since we were eleven. And I'm the whore? Why? Because I'm friends with Theo? Because his father was a Death Eater? Yes, I know this, but guess what? Theo isn't. Because Draco was a Death Eater? Guess what? The only thing he's done to me since the war was look down my dress. Because Zabini is a man whore? Guess the fuck what? He's always been a man whore."

"Hermione, that's enough," Harry cut her off as Ron, was turning bright red now. "You don't have any right-"

"Oh, but I do have the right, Harry James Potter!" Hermione cut him off. "Your friend called me a whore, and I don't have the right? After everything I did for both of you in the ten years we were friends! You all think you can pretend to be worried about me because I happen to be friends with Theo? I can take care of myself, Harry. I've proven that time and time again. Do you think you would have survived without me?"

Ginny scoffed, voiced raised she said, "You sure do think a lot of yourself, don't you Hermione? Harry would have been just fine without you."

Hermione narrowed her eyes at the little redhead. "Is that so Weaslette? Who was the one who figured out what was hiding in the school first year? Who was the one who solved the riddle so he could even get to the stone? Who was the one who figured out why Harry could hear the basilisk our second year? Who figured out it was even a giant snake, and how it was getting around the school? Who was the one who had the device that helped save Sirius and Buckbeak our third year? Who was the best friend who stayed true to Harry while the entire school, including your brother, thought he wanted to be apart of that stupid tournament? And who helped him the entire time to stay alive? Whose idea was the D.A. our fifth year? And who got rid of Umbridge? Which one of us told him to get rid of that stupid book where he used an unknown spell and almost killed another student?"

"Malfoy almost killed-" Ginny began to yell.

"I'm not done yet, Ginevra, so you shut your gob," Hermione yelled back, her magic sparking and her hair beginning to curl again. " Whatever Malfoy did that year was because his entire family was about to be killed. Don't sit there and pretend you would have fought back if Voldemort had your mother locked in your house and was using her as a pincushion, using her as a dummy to practice crucio on. But I digress, we were talking about me and my ex friends... Let's see, which one of us followed Harry all over the fucking country looking for horcruxes and never doubted or left him just because it was hard? Who was with him the entire time, even when there was a giant fucking snake pretending to be in body of a dead woman? You know who the answer to all of my questions. It is me, not Ronald, not you, but me. If it wasn't for me, Ginevra Weasley Potter, Harry wouldn't have lived past twelve! We all know it, so don't try and downplay my importance to the cause. What would Harry be without you Ginny Weasley? Oh yeah, he would be Harry, because out of the two of us, I'm the one he needed. You were just the little fangirl who couldn't speak to him for years because of a scar. Do you know what Ron did when things were hard or didn't go his way? He ran, threw a hissy fit and ran away. Sure he came back, but I was the one who stayed. I was Harry's friend through it all; the good, the bad, and the fucking deadly. Who did he choose when things went bad between me and your loser brother? That's right. He chose Ron. So, for you and your brother and your husband to think it's ok for you to call me a whore, you have another fucking thing coming.

"Now, my friends and I are having dinner. We're celebrating Draco's good news, and we don't need St. Potter and his sidekick to ruin our appetites. Georgy, you are more than welcome to join us. If you wish to stay with your family I understand. I will owl you soon." And with that diatribe, Hermione went and sat down next to a gobsmacked Draco, and a silently laughing Theo.

"Sure 'Mina, I'll have dinner with you. Out of everyone here, I'm more afraid of you than any of them." George laughed and sat next to Blaise who was staring mouth opened at Hermione. The trio of Gryffindors stomped away, walking out of the restaurant. Hermione then realized just how quiet the room had gotten. She blew out a breath. Guess she'd be making the papers tomorrow, damn. How would she explain that to her clients?

"She's been waiting years to go off on Harry and Ron. I'm so glad I was here for it." Luna clapped her hands, jumped up from her seat and hugged her friend tightly.

"'Mina, you okay?" Theo asked. Hermione took the bottle of firewhiskey and filled her, well Draco's tumbler and drank it down, relishing in the burn it left as it went down her throat.

She looked over at her friends, Theo, George, and Luna and smiled brightly. She had thought that confronting her old friends of over ten years would be hard on her, that she would feel sad, but what she felt was relief. A weight had lifted off her shoulders after confronting them. "I am fan-fucking-tastic. I'm sure there will be a piece in the paper tomorrow saying that Hermione Granger had wronged Harry Potter, 'The Boy Who Could Do No Wrong', but you know? I don't even care. I spent my entire childhood and formative years fighting the bad guys - sorry Draco - and I thought I was fighting evil only to find out Voldemort wasn't the only evil. They stopped talking to me, and kicked me out of the family, because I didn't want to marry Ron. The only Weasley's who talk to me is George, Bill, and Charlie."

"Speaking of Charlie, are you and Luna going to visit next month?" George asked as he stole Luna's glass of wine. "I was just talking to him, and he wanted to make sure he could take that week off, you know, since you are barred from the reserve."

Luna laughed. "We just wanted to pet the baby. How were we to know the mother was not keen on the idea?"

"I did not want to pet the baby," Hermione laughed. "I've had enough with dragons to last me a lifetime; Hagrid in first year, Harry in the fourth, and then the one from Gringotts. I wouldn't mind seeing Charlie though. He has nice hands."

"Hermione Granger, are you sleeping with my brother?" George wagged an eyebrow at his friend.

Hermione shook her head with a grin. "Not me, but Luna has."

Luna smiled. "He does have nice hands. Knows exactly where to put them, and those callouses, well, they just help." She looked over at the other men at the table. "'Mina, Draco has nice hands, must be from gripping his broomstick during quidditch. Oh, and he's a seeker too. You do have a thing for seekers."

Blaise spit out his drink, and began to laugh along with Hermione.

Draco looked over at Hermione and smiled suggestively, "What do you think Granger? Do I have nice hands?"

Hermione brought her hands up and placed them palm to palm on Draco's. "I think I need a few more drinks before I can make that assessment." She smirked as she filled her tumbler again.

"I think," Theo said, finally waving down a server so they could order their dinner, "You will not be finding out on my rug."

"Aw, come on Theo," Hermione and Luna chorused in unison, and then burst out laughing.

 **AN: What do you all think? This was my first attempt at Luna, she's not the easiest character to write, but I hope you liked her. Please review and let me know what you think. I think this might have a few more chapters to continue the night, it was suppose to be a fun light fluffy piece.**

 **Thanks,**

 **Gimi aka Jess**


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer: I own nothing but the random adventures. The characters all belong to JK Rowling.**

 **A/N: Hi everyone. I know it's been a while since I've done anything with this story. I wasn't really planning on this being an actual fic with a plot, I decided this will probably be a short series of evenings with the snakes. There won't be much of a plot, just random evenings and random adventures. I am currently busy with the plot of Cassie and am hoping to get back to Secrets and Lies as soon as I get a chance. I hope you all enjoy and just a warning, this is a chapter of lemons so 18+ please. A special Thank You to Connorsmommy for being my beta this morning and fixing my errors I made.**

 **Thanks for reading and reviewing. I hope you enjoy,**

 **Gimi aka Jess**

 **OoOoOoO**

"'Mina." Luna's singsong voice gave Hermione a smile, even from over the muggle cell phone she bought for Luna and Theo, you could hear the airiness in her tone, "you need to come to London this weekend! It's been ages since I saw you last."

Hermione chuckled as she was browsing around the shop. Living in Italy she found that she loved shopping, especially for shoes. Now that she wasn't on the run for her life, she no longer found the need to wear nothing but trainers anymore. "Luna, we just went out two weeks ago, remember? You and I went to dinner and ended up in Paris for the weekend."

"Oh yeah, that was a fun weekend. French men do know how to kiss, but next time. Let's go to Greece, I bet we could get Theo to join us."

Hermione was looking at a pair of shoes when she caught a flash of blonde hair coming towards her. Looking up, she was surprised to see Draco Malfoy standing there with a brilliant smile on his face. "Uh… yeah, Greece, that would be lovely." she stuttered, clearly thrown by the appearance of Draco, but she grinned back and continued, "Yes, let's see if Theo wants to join us next weekend. Why don't you call him and find out? Tell him we'll behave. He might go with us." Draco raised an eyebrow and Hermione smirked back at him.

"Aww, 'Mina." Luna's voice could be heard by Draco. "What does behave mean?."

Hermione giggled at the look of confusion on Draco's face. "I don't know, something that doesn't get us arrested?"

"Oh here's an idea," Luna said excitedly, "Let's glamour our appearances this weekend! We'll charm new identification, you can be a redhead, you will look fantastic as a redhead. Eh, maybe not, you might remind me too much of Ginny and that would turn the whole weekend upside down. Maybe black, yes, that could work. Black hair… blue eyes."

Draco raised an eyebrow again and shook his head. Hermione laughed. "Sure sounds fun, we'll see what happens. Listen Luna, I have to go. Call Theo and make him promise to come with us. Have him invite Blaise and Draco if he wants. They can have a guys weekend." Draco grinned at this invitation, Hermione just shrugged.

"Draco huh?" Hermione could hear the smirk on the blonde's face and didn't much care for it. "What made you think of him?"

"Nothing," Hermione answered back defensively. "I'm sure Theo would appreciate the back up, he tends to feel outnumbered when it's just us."

"You sure? He is very attractive. I saw his aura, it was sparking with sexual energy. You could really use some in your life these days." Hermione paled as Draco began to silently laugh and wag his eyebrows at her. "He looks like he would know how to make a girl scream. I mean when was the last time you had a good tussle?"

"Lu, I really have to go." Hermione turned away from Draco and walked a little bit. "I will talk to you later. Call Theo."

"Okay, talk to you later. Love you 'Mina." And she hung up the phone. Hermione turned back around when she felt a hand on her hip. Draco had taken a step towards her and was right up against her with a grin.

"You want to go to Greece huh? And I'm invited?"

Hermione blushed slightly, "Only if Theo invites you. You are his friend, we are barely on speaking terms Malfoy."

"Oh, I'm back to Malfoy, huh?" Draco teased. "What happened to Draco?"

She kissed him on the cheek and smirked. "We'll see what happens this weekend. What are you doing here?"

"I'm shopping of course." Draco smirked picking up a blood red satin stiletto.

Hermione laughed. "I don't think those will fit you Malfoy."

"Buy them and wear them out to dinner with me tonight." Draco said, coming up and running his free hand down her cheek. "You intrigue me, I had a rather good time with you that night."

She smiled, kissed him again, this time on the side of his mouth and took the shoes. "I can't have dinner with you. I have a date tonight, but I will buy the shoes. You do have excellent taste. I'll see you this weekend Draco." and she walked towards the till with her purchases. Draco grinned at the witch playing hard to get and walked out of the shop. She would not get away from him that easily, he needed to talk to Theo.

OoOoO

Theo and Draco arrived at the little home that Hermione and Luna had rented for the weekend early on Friday afternoon. After calling Hermione on her muggle cell phone, Theo found that the girls were in town grabbing supplies. Being so close to the water, the boys got changed and went to the beach. An hour or so later, Hermione, Luna came down giggling with drinks in their hands and in their suits.

"Theo!" Hermione shouted as he walked up from the water and grabbed her. "Oh Merlin, you are soaking wet!"

Theo laughed. "Of course I am, but isn't that suppose to be my line?"

Luna laughed and kissed Theo square on the mouth. She then handed him her drink and ran into the water.

Theo chuckled again. "How much has she had to drink already?"

Hermione just shrugged at plopped down on the sand and began to dry off a bit. "Where is Blaise? I thought you invited both your sneaky friends?"

Theo grinned. "I did, but Blaise is on holiday for the next few weeks. Apparently Draco ran into you last weekend and you invited him?"

Hermione laughed and ignored the question. "What should we do this evening? Stay in? Go out?"

Theo grabbed her hand, admiring her in her purple and silver trimmed bikini. "Let's stay in tonight, make dinner and just have a quiet night. We can go out tomorrow, but I'm a bit worn from the trip." And he pulled her into the water where Luna and Draco were having a water war.

OoOoO

That evening, Draco and Theo were in charge of making dinner. They were in charge because they were still sober enough not to burn off their eyebrows. Hermione and Luna were already totally splinched and giggling in the living room with a bottle of wine.

Draco could hear them laughing and carrying on and that just kept a smile on his face. Running in the circles that he was used to, he was use to dignified fun. The girls would never want to be seen this inebriated, it was not the thing to do. Prim and proper girls would never want to be seen as loose. Of course they still got pissed, but never where others could see them. They never gave fuel to their peers.

Luna and Hermione, though, they were not above just having fun. They said what they wanted, they got as pissed as they wanted and they never seem to be ashamed of it. Muggle music came blaring out of the living room and Theo chuckled as he could hear the girls singing along to the song.

"You seem fairly comfortable cooking the muggle way, Theo." Draco mused, "In fact. I'm surprised you know how to cook at all."

Theo grinned. "I only know some basics, but it is a requirement when you spend time with 'Mina. She cooks a lot and it is normally a group effort. At least when she and Luna are sober."

Suddenly the music was gone and the door slammed. Theo looked up, squeezing his eyes shut, he groans. "Oh no, this isn't good." He turns off the stove and puts a stasis charm on all the food so everything stays warm. "Come on before they find a way to get arrested."

Draco laughed and followed Theo out of the house. He could hear singing ahead and Theo began to follow them down towards the beach. Catching up with Theo, Draco noticed that Theo was just laughing at the situation.

"What do you mean arrested?" Draco asked. "Do you always play chaperone when you spend time with Granger?

"Chaperone? Not always, sometimes I'm just as far gone as they are, but there are times when Luna and 'Mina go a tad overboard, then they get into mischief."

"You have to tell me how you ended up such good friends with Granger and Lovegood. I mean, it's not like we were very friendly in school."

Theo laughed. "We met in Paris, at a quidditch match. I was there with Marcus, he was playing in the game against Italy and Luna and Hermione were in the same box cheering for Luciano. Of course we knew each other and we just started talking. We ended up going to dinner that night with Luciano and a few other players. Granger does have a thing for seekers, Luciano and Krum are not her only ex-boyfriends who play that position, she says it's something to do with long fingers, you can imagine. But the rest is history, we just sort of click, they are tremendous fun."

By the end of his story they had made it to the beach and found the girl's clothing. Laughter echoed towards the men over the sound of the waves. Theo looked around and saw the girls, naked riding the waves in the semi darkness.

Draco's eyes went wide. This was not what he was expecting. They were skinny dipping in the sea. Theo turned and murmured a notice me not spell on the area of beach that they were standing on. Then he began to undress.

"Theo, what are you doing?" Draco asked in surprise.

Theo stripped down to his boxers. "Going after them of course. They've drunk enough to drown a whale, do you think it's safe for them to swim pissed? Come on Draco, I'll need your help." Walking into the sea, he turned and grinned, "You wanted a night out with the Gryffindor Princess, now you have it."

Draco sighed and began to undress to his boxers, leaving all the clothes together. With wand in hand, he ran into the sea after his friend looking for the girls. They weren't far into the water, maybe just to their waist but he did notice they were completely nude. Luna was diving into the water like she was searching for something, Theo went to her first, as she was farther out. Draco went over to Hermione as she was jumping into the waves. Seeing Draco, she smiled widely and threw her arms around him. Draco could feel that her nipples were hard against his pale chest.

"Draco! You guys caught us." Hermione laughed as a wave knocked her closer to him. He grabbed her around the waist to stabilize himself.

"What in the name of Salazaar are you two doing?" He questioned the brunette. He looked at her, she was looking around to see if Theo had found Luna, it seemed he had, but Luna had pulled him deeper into the water and they were both diving in. Hermione brought her head back and laughed.

Looking up into Draco's grey astonished eyes, she laughed again, "Luna and I are looking for sea monkeys." She said as this was a perfectly normal response. "I told her they aren't really monkeys, that they were just little shrimp, but she is sure they are real, so we're in search. Come on, she's got Theo helping her, you can help me."

"What do I get if I help you?" Draco grinned slyly. He was still holding her close, her breasts felt wonderful against his skin. She had very smooth skin, he realised, as he was drawing circles on her hips.

She looked into his eyes and smirked. Putting her arms around his neck, she jumped up and wrapped her legs around his waist, pulling his head towards her and kissed him on the side of his mouth. Peppering his jaw with slow kisses as small waves broke against them, she trailed to his ear. Nibbling at his ear she whispered, "I'm sure we can think of something." And she jumped down and dove into the next wave.

Draco stood there a moment, processing what just happened. A very naked Hermione Granger wrapped herself around his waist, kissed and nibbled at him and ran off… well… swam off. She also promised more, if he read into her actions and words. Not a second longer, he dove in after her.

Casting a bubble head charm and lighting his wand, he looked around for Hermione. Then he saw her ahead and swam over to her. She had also cast a bubble head charm around herself and was watching something a bit in the distance. Ahead of them was Theo and Luna. They were treading water like they were, but Luna was bucking astride Theo. The couple watched as Luna plunged back down on Theo's cock as he gripped her waist, watching her hair floating wildly around them.

Draco brought his head close to Hermione so their bubbles would merge. "I thought they weren't together?"

Hermione leaned her head back against his. "They aren't, but sometimes they keep each other company when they aren't with anyone else. Come on, we can hunt for sea monkeys later."

"Don't want them to see you spying on them?" Draco smirked at her and she smirked right back.

"It's not like it's something I haven't seen before." She kissed him again and whispered. "On either one of them." And she swam away.

Again, Draco took a moment to process what she said. Not looking back at his friend, he swam after her; back to the beach. He found her on the beach using her wand to dry off so she could get her dress back on. Coming up from behind her, he grabbed onto her still naked hips and pulled her close to him. He brought his lips down to her salty neck.

"What... were... you… saying... Granger?" Draco punctuated each word with a kiss to her neck. He caressed her hips, travelling up towards her sides, his hands moved forward and he ghost caressed her flat stomach, enjoying the noises that were coming out of her mouth.

She moaned loudly and pushed back, wiggling her hips against him, reaching up and pulled his head more firmly against her neck as he continued to suck on the skin behind her ear, breathing her scent in deeply, he found himself hardening against the small of her back.

Feeling him harden as well, Hermione turned around to face him and brought her hand down to caress him through his wet boxers. With her other hand, she pulled on the back of his neck and pulled him down into a hungry kiss. He moaned into her mouth as they fought for dominance in the kiss.

Hermione won the war of the tongues when she moved her hand from the outside of his boxers down into them, her hand was met with a rather large appendage. Smooth and hard, waiting for her touch. His body twitched when her small hand made contact and he groaned involuntarily. In that moment she took control of the kiss.

Draco had never had a woman be so assertive with him. If he was being truthful, it was a huge turn on. To have someone who took control, who knew what they wanted and was not afraid to show it. Suddenly she pulled away, panting, with lust filled eyes and smiled at him. "Draco, as much as I want to continue this, sex on the sand is not as much fun as they say it is. Sand is not comfortable and even the best charms can't keep it out of sensitive places. Let's go back to the house, Theo and Luna will be along soon enough." Draco groaned in frustration, but nodded his agreement. They both got dressed quickly and walked back to the house, not stopping until they were in the door.

Once inside, Hermione pushed him onto the couch and straddled his lap, making sure to ground her core into his rapidly hardening member. They both groaned at the contact. Draco grabbed her face and kissed her soundly as she worked the zipper on his trousers and pulled out his cock. Rubbing it against her core, he realised she neglected to put knickers on as the juices of her arousal began to coat him. She moaned as his tip caressed the little bundle of nerves, sending a shot of moisture flowing out and added coals to the flame that was building in her body. She could feel her magic expand around her.

Draco also felt his magic, it was as if his core was melding into the woman on his lap. She kept rubbing him against her clit and Gods, did that feel amazing, but he wanted more. He wanted to be inside this witch, his magic was begging to be connected to her in the most intimate way possible.

With one last pass over her clit, Hermione couldn't stop herself anymore, she had to have him inside her, to stretch her insides further than she had been in the past. Her magic demanded it, she hadn't felt this compatible with a wizard in ages. Not since Luciano and even then, it wasn't as strong. She held onto the base of his cock; getting up on her knees, she slid it back towards her slit and pushed him into her and felt her magic purr. She groaned in delight, sitting for a moment and letting herself adjust to his girth.

"Oh fuck, you're tight," Draco grunted, silently reciting potion ingredients for the draft of living death. His own magic hummed in his ears and his skin felt like it was fire. She slowly began to move, moaning obscenities as she did.

He caught her lips with his and kissed her hard as she pushed back down against him. They soon found a rhythm that satisfied both of them for the moment as he began to explore her body.

He then realised that they were both still fully dressed. Just as the thought came to mind of stopping to get undressed, their clothes disappeared.

Startled, they made eye contact as if to ask if the other had done the magic, but neither had. Rather than dwell, Draco grabbed hold of her hips and pushed himself off the couch. Hermione, sensing what he was doing, locked her feet around his waist and held onto his neck.

Still connected, magic humming around them, Draco walked them into the nearest room, in case Theo and Luna made a reappearance, and pushed Hermione against the nearest wall.

Draco increased their rhythm, thrusting deeper into her at this new angle. Hermione, feeling her climax coming closer and closer pushed herself away from the wall.

Desperately wanting some leverage, she had wished for something to hold onto and two picture frames on either side were transfigured into handles. She held on as Draco plowed into her harder and faster.

"Oh Merlin, Malfoy." Hermione moaned. "Fuck Malfoy… right there, fuck… Oh FUCK!" Hermione screamed out as he hit the exact right spot, his body angled to hit her g-spot and he held her in such a way that the top of his cock, stroked her clit at the same time.

But that isn't what set her off. Hermione could feel her magic, it expanded all around her, an extension of her body, caressing his own, stroking against each other, building it's own climax. As her body got hotter, ready to explode, their magic did the same thing. Melding and combining, licking at each other and igniting. It was like a match to a firecracker.

And that's how their climaxes were, explosive. Once Hermione reached her peak, Draco soon followed, feeling his power surge through him like he was a conduit. Flowing through him, passing through her and vice versa.

After such a feat of exertion, Draco began to lose feeling in his legs and before he dropped Hermione, set her on the ground and they both slid to the floor and laid on the rug. Breathing heavy, Hermione felt like all the bones in her body had disappeared.

"So…" Draco said, when he found his voice. "That was different."

"Hermione laughed. "I now know what Luna meant."

Draco turned his head to look at her. "When?"

"When we were setting up this trip, when she said you were sparking with sexual energy. I definitely felt a spark."

Draco laughed. "A spark? Granger, I think we lit the house on fire, that was bloody amazing."

Hermione looked over at him and grinned. "I just have one question." He continued to look at her, waiting for her to go on.

"What happen to our clothes?" Draco thought for a moment and they both began to laugh. Neither of them knew what happened to their clothes, maybe that was part of the melding of their magic.

After a good few minutes of laughter, they both were able to sit up and looking around, they realised they were in Draco's room. Draco got dressed in a t-shirt, and to Hermione's surprise, a pair of muggle shorts. He tossed Hermione a spare shirt and a pair of boxers.

Once dressed they both ventured out to the kitchen to see if the food that Theo and Draco made was still ready for them and they found Luna and Theo eating at the table.

Luna looked up from her chicken and smiled. "'Mina, guess what? Theo and I found the sea monkeys!"

Hermione laughed, "Oh really?"

Luna grinned, taking a bite of her chicken as Hermione sat next to her and took a piece of chicken off of Theo's plate. Draco chuckled and grabbed a plate of food and sat down on the other side of Hermione. He began to eat his food, noticing how Hermione didn't bother with a plate, just taking bits and pieces of food off of theirs.

"Yup, it was amazing. Oh, but your magic feels amazing." Luna said as she grabbed a forkful of potatoes off of Theo's plate as Hermione had just eaten the last of hers. "Did you find the sea monkeys as well? Or were you and Draco playing hide the bowtruckle?"

Theo snickered into his butterbeer, but Hermione just grinned. "Draco and I did find a couple of randy sea monkeys earlier, but we ran off before we could catch them." Hermione eyed Theo and gave him a knowing smirk. "Though we never lost a bowtruckle, we did have a bit of fun."

Luna just laughed. "Good for you both. Next time we should all look for the sea monkeys."

Hermione just laughed. "No thanks, I've seen enough sea monkeys to last me a while, I'll leave that up to you and Theo."

Luna just grinned and continued to eat Theo's potatoes and Hermione grabbed a piece of Draco's chicken. She did work up an appetite after all.


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: Hi everyone, I know it's been a long time for Snakes, but the reality is, this was never meant to be more than maybe two chapters. There might be one more chapter after this, but since there really isn't a plot, it must come to an end. I might bring back Hermione, Luna and Theo in a different fic, I do love their dynamic, they are truly fun to write. I hope you all enjoy, this has not been beta'd so I know there will be grammatical errors, but to error is human right?**

 **Love and Slyther,**

 **Gimi aka Jess**

"Hermione, you are coming to London this weekend." Theo called out after letting himself into her home, "Hermione, where are you? GAHH! Bloody hell Draco, put some clothes on!"

Hermione chuckled as she exited her bathroom and Draco smirked standing there pulling up his trousers. "Do you always just barge into Hermione's bedroom Theo?"

"Yes, though there's normally not a man here in the morning." Theo grumbled, "Anyways 'Mina, you are coming to London, Luna's orders!"

Hermione rolled her eyes, "Okay Theo, why am I going to London this weekend?"

"Because we are going to a new book signing." Theo smirked. There was an evil glint in his eye.

Hermione looked at him suspiciously, "What book?"

Theo laughed and shrugged. "That, is a secret. Just be at my flat Friday evening and we'll go from there."

Draco coughed. "If she's coming to London, she's staying with me."

Theo chuckled. "That's sweet and a bit gross, I just threw up a little, be at my flat Friday at 4:30. We're meeting Luna at Flourish and Blotts."

Hermione chuckled and Theo apparated away, leaving the new couple to spend the day together.

OoOoOoO

On Friday Draco and Hermione made it to Theo's flat a little before 4:30 and found their friend sitting there waiting for them. Theo was especially excited and immediately Hermione became suspicious again.

"What is going on Theo?" She demanded from her sneaky friend. "You seem very excited for going to a bookstore."

Draco knew what was going on by now but was sworn to secrecy by Luna. He had found out that while Luna seemed a bit spacey, she was extremely intelligent and loyal. This was her scheme and Draco was not going to ruin it for her.

"Nothing 'Mina, let's get going. Luna is waiting for us, she's working right now at this book signing but we're to meet her there and then we are going to dinner." Hermione narrowed her eyes at her friend and looked over at Draco who was smiling at her. "You are both horrible liars. Just so you know. I'm a solicitor, I know when someone is lying to me, but I'll pretend I believe you. Let's go." With that, she grabbed both Theo and Draco and apparated them to Diagon Alley.

Looking at the door of Flourish and Blotts and seeing the banner for the book signing. "You all are arseholes. What am I doing here?" Hermione groaned. The banner was advertising Ron Weasley's new book

 _ **The Dynamic Duo**_

 _ **Harry Potter and Ronald Weasley**_

 _ **Defenders of the Wizarding World**_

Theo just grabbed her arm and walked her towards the building. Draco laced his hand through hers and held onto her. "Luna is reporting for The Quibbler, after this is over we will go to dinner and you can drink as much as you want." Theo bribed her.

"At dinner?" Hermione scoffed as the snakes opened the door. "I need a drink now. Theo, give me the flask I know you're hiding. You better have known better than to bring me to a book signing of the Dynamic Idiots and not bring me something to drink." Theo grinned and handed over a small flask. He must have put an extension charm on the flask because the pull of whiskey Hermione drank seemed far more than the small flask could hold.

Walking into the bookstore, Hermione grabbed a glass of champagne that a server was passing around on a tray and drank it quickly. Waving her hand over the glass, it refilled itself. Luna and the other reporters were already sitting in front of a stage where Ron sat with Ginny. Hermione picked up a book and began to skim it, rolling her eyes she wondered how Ronald could fit his big head through the door. George was standing off to the side with Angelina and spotted Hermione.

Grinning, George walked over to Hermione. "What is my favorite non wife doing here?" George questioned. "I thought this would be the last place you would want to be."

Hermione smirked and lifted the book. "This _is_ the last place I want to be. Luna is scheming and insisted Theo trick me into coming. I didn't know he wrote a book. _Dynamic Duo_? What is this rubbish?"

George sniggered. "Ah, this is Ron trying to rub you out of the picture. Didn't you know? You were there in the background. He and Harry are the real heroes."

Hermione had been taking a sip of her champagne and promptly spit it out. "Are you joking?"

George shook his head and grinned. "I do wonder what Luna is up to."

Hermione's eyes sparkled with glee. "Let's go find out, shall we? I'm sure I am needed for whatever display she has planned." Hermione and George joined Draco and Theo at the back of a packed room. Theo was trying not to laugh at something Ron had been reading. "What we miss?"

Draco turned to her with a suppressed grin. "Oh, did you know that Weasley was the one who figured out the basilisk was in the Chamber of Secrets? I didn't know he had enough brain power to spell basilisk, let alone figure out what one was."

Hermione sniggered. "He doesn't. I'm sure Percy helped spell the words for him. He always was the smartest Weasley." George elbowed her in the ribs which only caused her to giggle out loud. A few reporters turned around at the noise and Ron looked up. He paled slightly at the sight of his brother and old friend, but continued on.

Hermione leaned over to George and whispered. "Where is Harry in all this? Shouldn't he be up there for the inaugural arse kissing?" Hermione heard sniggering next to her and George even grinned.

"Harry is out of town on assignment. Ginny is here in his stead of course. My lovely family, I am so proud."

Hermione snickered. "As you should be."

Luna's blonde head popped up from the sea of reporters once Ron was done reading and had asked for questions. "Mr. Weasley, you say that you are the one who figured out what was in the Chamber, how did you come to that conclusion?" Hermione, George and the Snakes all stopped whispering and listened for his response.

"Well, Miss Lovegood. Harry was a parselmouth and he was the only one who could hear it, it wasn't hard to figure out it was a snake after that." Ron answered smugly.

Luna rolled her eyes. "Obviously, that part would be easy. But what made you suspect it was a Basilisk? It could have been any number of different types of snakes. What research did you do?"

"I found it in a book." Ron answered quickly. "Anyone else-"

"What book?" Luna carried on.

"This was so long ago, Miss Lovegood." Ron answered, turning slightly pink. "It's been over 15 years, you expect me to remember the book?"

Luna laughed. "Of course I do, you wrote a book about your adventures, you must remember how you found your answers. Also Mr. Weasley, how would you have found this piece of information when the book in question doesn't have that page anymore? See, that book, where this information about basilisks, that page is torn out. I know, I looked it up."

"It could have been torn out after I found it." Ron argued.

Luna shook her head. "No, not possible, because I have it here."

Hermione was impressed with Luna, sneaky witch, going through her stuff. Hermione had that page, it was in her old school trunk at her home.

Ron laughed, but Hermione could tell he was worried. "And how do you know it's the correct page from that book?"

Luna smiled. "Oh, because I brought it to Madam Pince a few days ago and she confirmed it was from that book with a quick wave of her wand. Now I haven't seen your writing in a long time, but I know this writing." She lifted up the page, the writing where it mentioned pipes. "This writing is the writing of Hermione Granger."

"How would you know that?" Ron sneered. "Where did you get that anyways Luna?"

Hermione moved forward. "It was in my trunk Ron. Harry gave it back to me after I was revived."

Whispers began circulating around them.

Ron paled, but said. "He must have been mistaken. I tore that page out myself. I found the answer and told him, you were a statue in the hospital wing. You couldn't have possibly done anything."

"Oh, but it is my writing on that page, so even if you found the page, I gave you the information."

"Mr. Weasley, in your book, you state that you are the one who led Umbridge to the Forbidden Forest and into the centaurs."

The Slytherins laughed heartily at that one. They were both there for this story. This was very entertaining.

"Yes, well-" Ron had started, Hermione could see the wheels in his head turning.

"Mr. Weasley, did you know that Centaurs don't like humans? That they would never willing help humans, especially do their bidding like you allude to in your book?"

Ron visibly swallowed hard.

"Mr. Weasley, wasn't in fact, Miss Granger here, who left with Harry Potter and Umbridge for the forest?"

"Yes, but I-"

"Isn't it true that you were being held by a member of the Inquisitorial Squad, we have members of that Squad here tonight, if you need to refresh your memory about who really left the room that day. I was also there, I may be a bit spacey, but I don't remember you having much of a brain wave that night." George sniggered loudly at this which got Theo and Draco started as well. "Though I do remember you having a brain attack you that night, but in your book, you state that it was Miss Granger who was attacked and then allude that it was fitting because she always thought she had more brain power than she knew what to do with."

Hermione narrowed her eyes and looked through the book more closely. "Ronald, is this a work of fiction? I must admit, I didn't even know about this book."

"No, it's the story of our time at school and helping Harry." Ron said stiffly. The reporters sitting in the gallery were still whispering, wanting to ask questions but afraid of interrupting this scandal unfolding before their very eyes.

"Ronald, did you know I am a solicitor. A very high profile solicitor in Italy?" Hermione asked innocently. Ron shook his head. "No? Well, you never did care about anyone but yourself. Do you know what slander is? Slander is printing or saying something that is damaging to one's character or reputation. Now, I don't have to tell you, I am suppose to be notified whenever something like a book is going to be published that I am in. Since I wasn't notified and this is really just lies about my character. If you sell even one copy of this piece of rubbish, I will sue you and I will win. See, I have the page of the book, as Luna has shown you, it has my writing on it. I also have countless journals of my time with Harry on the run. I can even get Firenze, who was there in the forest that day with Umbridge, to give a statement about what happened in the forest."

"Are you threatening me in front of all of these people?" Ron spat at her. His face as red as his hair. "Are you really that petty after I broke up with you that you would come to my book signing to spout lies?"

Hermione laughed loudly. "Ronald, you are in need of help. I am not being petty, I'm being smart. Do you think I would allow you to print a book that says I am stupid? That I am just another Ron Weasley fan who was spurned? Do you understand what that would do to my career? No, you don't because you only care about yourself. You are the one being petty, you are mad I wouldn't marry you, I didn't want to be your wife and you are spreading lies about me."

"Oh talk normally will you, no one buys that know-it-all attitude anymore." Ron growled.

Hermione smirked. "Actually a lot of people buy it, it's why I'm one of the most sought after solicitors. It's because I am smart, you Ron, I'm afraid. I'm afraid you aren't. Expect a letter from _my_ solicitor and tell your publisher to expect one as well. Have a good evening. Luna, can we go to dinner. I'm starving." Hermione turned to the boys. "Let's go lads."

Taking Draco's hand, she turned to the reporters. "Oh yeah, I am dating Draco Malfoy, ex-death eater, yes, you heard me. Hermione Granger, know it all swot and muggleborn is dating Draco Malfoy. I am also best friends with Luna Lovegood and Theodore Nott, son of a death eater. I am no longer friends or associated with Ron Weasley, as if that wasn't already obvious, or Harry Potter, though the latter is only because of the former. But I am happy, I am not imperiused and Luna and George Weasley can attest to that in case anyone wants to spread that lie. If anyone in this room reports any kind of lie about me, I will also be suing you for slander as well as whatever paper reports it. Good evening to all."

The Slytherins both waved at the crowd and Angelina joined her husband, George calling goodbye to his brother and the group left the bookstore. Theo almost crying in mirth.

OoOoOoO

Hermione and Luna were laughing hard as they walked out of the bookstore. "I'm sorry 'Mina, I just had to do that stupid book signing for The Quibbler and I read the book and got so angry for you."

Hermione hugged her blonde friend. "Not to worry Luna, I'm sure Ronald will have such fun figuring out what to do now. I'll have to owl my solicitor in the morning, he honestly thought he would get away with lying about what went on during school. When I'm done with him, he will be the laughingstock of the Wizarding world."

"I thought you were done with Wizarding London Hermione?" Angelina grinned slyly at her friend.

"I was but it just sucks me back in." Hermione pulled her fists back towards her body and everyone chuckled. "This is all your fault Theo."

"My fault?"

"If you didn't drag me out that night, I wouldn't have seen them."

Theo laughed. "If I didn't drag you out, you wouldn't have see Draco again and there would have went your explosive sex life."

The group laughed again. Hermione stood there, hands on hips. "Who said it was explosive?"

Luna bounced up and put an arm around Theo. "Oh 'Mina, I forgot to tell you, I found bits of your clothes from that night in my bag."

"What do you mean bits?" Draco asked with a grin.

Theo smirked at his sneaky friend. "She means, your clothes were in tatters, so unless you guys were really hungry and _ate_ them. I found bits in my bag too."

Draco snickered. "So that's what happened to them." Hermione paled. "'Mina, you okay?"

"Dammit!" Hermione shouted out loud. Everyone jumped slightly. "That was one of my favorite dresses, bugger!" George began to howl, doubled over with laughter. "It's not funny George."

Luna smiled serenely. "It really is 'Mina. But really, it's rare, do you know how much magic you have to have for your clothes to explode?"

Hermione began to laugh, tears pricked her eyes. "Yes, I do, it feels fucking amazing too. Lu, did you ever go looking for sea monkeys again?" Hermione changed the subject swiftly and glanced sideways at Draco who was trying to gulp down his laughter and turning red.

Luna looked at her friend with a giant smile. "Yes I did, I found quite a few sea monkeys. I told you I could find them."

"Really?" Asked George, interested. "Where did you find them? Did you know muggles keep them as pets? Maybe they would be a good novelty for the joke shop."

Draco could not hold it anymore he burst out laughing, but Hermione did surprisingly well at keeping a straight face. She was really good at her job.

"I'm sorry, I just… I couldn't hold it in anymore." Draco gasped for air as Theo frowned at his friend, causing another bout of chuckles. "Let's go find some dinner. Where do you ladies want to go?"

"No!" Theo groaned. George looked up quickly and grabbed Angelina's hand, saying something about not being able to leave Freddy for that long. Angelina looked quite upset, not being able to go to dinner with them, but left with her husband with promises for a next time. Theo grabbed Luna's waist. "Luna, Love not out of country. I have a meeting tomorrow."

"Theo, tomorrow is Saturday, the only meeting you have tomorrow is with me, naked in a room, tied to my bed. Or your bed, or let's go to Mina's! I really want some Italian."

"Blaise isn't home from holiday," Draco chortled while Theo gave his friend a stink eye.

Luna shrugged her shoulders, "I'm not in the mood for Italian sausage tonight, I was never a fan."

Draco was practically in tears, Luna was definitely a good friend to have around, the things that just come out of her mouth were priceless.

"Not true, Luciano was a very nice Italian." Hermione argued, grinning cheekily at Draco.

He pulled her into his arms and kissed her soundly, trailing kisses to the spot he knew would make her legs wobble, "Minx, it's not nice to tease me Hermione." Draco felt his magic vibrate as she sighed and melted into him. The four friends apparated back to Italy to Hermione's home.

"Let's go make dinner and drink copious amounts of wine. You can play find the sea monkey again with Luna in the pool if you like. I know you have a fetish for water."

"What do you mean?" Theo asked innocently, though Hermione could see the lust growing in his eyes for their blonde pixie.

"Theo, we all know you like to shag in water. Why do you think Luna wanted to go look for shrimp?" Hermione ducked a stinging hex and Luna's spell collided with Draco's arm instead.

Swearing and grabbing his arm, Draco glared at Luna who just aimed another hex at Hermione, "You were not suppose to tell Mi, that wasn't nice. I'll get you, tie you up and spank you raw." Draco's ears perked up, did he just hear what he thought he heard. Luna had jumped on Hermione and they both fell onto the sofa, Luna straddling Hermione's stomach. Theo just rolled his eyes and sat down, grinning.

Sitting down next to Theo, Draco leaned towards his friend, "Do you think they'll get naked and wrestle like muggles?"

Theo just chuckled, "You don't want that to happen. They are both experienced fighters remember, last time something like that that happened we had to take a trip to the hospital because someone almost lost an arm."

Draco looked at Theo, eyebrow raised and his friend smirked, "Wizarding pub about three… maybe four months ago in Prague. The girls were dancing and these two guys came and started chatting them up, but their slags were not happy about it. Tried to fight dirty, but 'Mina is a sly fighter. She's deadly at times, good thing she was slightly pissed, she vanished the girl's hair, every last bit of it, eyelashes and everything. Luna, my little fairy, transfigured the other witch into one of those giant pink birds, flarigos or whatever it was, but it was a nightmare." Draco laughed at the thought, though he didn't know what a flarigo was, "I had to apparate them back to the hotel and have have the front desk call medi-wizards to the pub to help the poor witches."

"It's flamingo Love," Luna called out in her ethereal voice, "She was very pretty, though I don't think that bloke fancied her much after she started pecking at his trousers."

"You, Miss Solicitor, War heroine, Brains of the Golden Trio," Draco smirked, "That isn't very nice, leaving a defenseless girl hairless."

Hermione smiled, "It grew back, mostly on her legs and under her arms, but sadly her eyebrows, lashes and head took a bit of time, I think she was able to get a small dusting of hair on her head after about two days. She was fine."

Luna couldn't help it, she began to giggle at the memory of the hairless girl. Then Hermione and Theo, knowing what she was laughing at, began to chuckle too. Hermione and Luna both stood up and went into the kitchen to begin dinner. Draco just sat there shaking his head, clearly it was something he had to have been there for. Oh well, maybe one day, he will be part of the fun.


End file.
